5 Questions to Ask Your Partner When You Become Grandparents

If you are welcoming your first grandchild, you’ve probably already started envisioning what your time as a grandparent will look like. Maybe you have fond memories of things you did with your own grandparent that you hope to recreate. Maybe you have watched enviously as friends have a weekly date with their grandkids. Maybe you are a bit sad about how far away you live.

Whatever your thoughts on the matter, have you talked to your partner about them?

If you are married or in a long-term relationship, talking about your feelings and dreams around this change in your life is an excellent idea. Not only can planning together bring you closer as a couple, it can make sure you are working together in this new role.

The very first part of New Grandparent Essentials™ is designed to help you consider your goals as a grandparent and put them down on paper. If you want to be an intentional grandparent, there’s no better way to start than sitting down with your spouse and setting intentions together. So plan a special celebration dinner and have a conversation about this new chapter.

Here are five things for Grandma and Grandpa to ask each other:

1. What are you excited about?

Share what you think the good parts of being a grandparent will be. Try to be specific and think far past things like “I can’t wait to spoil them.” Are you excited to have a little one to cuddle and love, or about planning adventures? Are you excited about practicing your championship wrestling moves on them or watching them learn to crawl? Sharing the things you are excited about will help make it a reality.

2. What are you worried about?

Every new grandparent has some worries. Many grandfathers are worried that their wife will focus on the grandchild so much they’ll be forgotten. Grandmothers often worry about the safe delivery of a healthy baby. Long-distance grandparents worry their grandchildren won’t know them. Sharing any worries you have allows the other person to help you handle them.

3. What do you envision doing with the grandchildren?

Are you looking forward to teaching a grandchild to ski or share your love of gardening? Are you hoping to run a Grandma Camp when they are old enough? We shared how important it is to be on the same page about what you will do with the grands in When “The Other Grandparent” Lives with You. When you have competing ideas about what your time with the grandchildren will be like, it can create stress and resentment.

4. How often do you hope to see them?

This will depend a lot on how close you live, but it can be really hard on a couple if you have differing ideas on visits. Whether you live near or far, be honest about your expectations. Do you envision spending every weekend with the grandchildren, or visiting once a year? Do you hope to drop by after work or just wait for an invitation? (Bear in mind, you’ll also want to ask parents how often you are welcome!)

5. What sort of financial role do you expect to play?

Some grandparents want to pay for their grandchild’s education. Others want to start a savings account while their grandchild is young. If your finances are combined, it’s crucial that you have a mutual plan for if and how you want to support your grandchildren. It’s also a good idea to talk to a financial advisor, as your decisions can impact your retirement plan as well.

Of course, these questions are only a starting point for planning your life as grandparents. Your Grand Vision has additional questions and guidelines to make sure that you cover everything you need to be an intentional, involved grandparent. You can get it separately, or as part of New Grandparent Essentials™.

It’s likely that being grandparents is just the latest chapter in your life as a couple. Like every other chapter, it will be more fun if you write it together.

And trust us, this is a very fun chapter!