Stress-free Holiday Meals with Grandkids: How Grandparents Can Cook Up Success
The anticipation is high: the grandchildren are coming to visit and your holiday celebration is going to be extra special. You’ve gotten the gifts, figured out where everyone will sleep, and planned out your menus.
Too often though, the reality doesn’t match the celebration we’ve envisioned. The sabbath dinner is spoiled by a crying toddler, or the teenager is sullen because she hates pulp in her orange juice.
While there’s not much that can be done about a sullen teenager, a conversation with your grandchildren’s parents can help to avoid some of the other holiday meal landmines. Make sure to cover the following:
Get a grocery list from parents
Get a grocery list so you have the right kinds of yogurt and snacks. Ask mom and dad if anything is off limits, and then respect their answer. While treats are expected at this time of year, make sure you are stocking up on healthy options that will keep everyone from going into a sugar meltdown. Have bowls of fruit and nuts more accessible than the cookies and candy. Do you have a nutcracker? A bowl of nuts to be shelled will be highly enticing, assuming there are no nut allergies. If there are allergies, be sure to be vigilant about avoiding foods that may endanger your grandchild.
Get parent input on meal times
You usually serve Christmas dinner at 6, but the little ones may be used to eating earlier or will be on a different time zone. Plan to have an earlier kids’ meal of noodles or chicken fingers—something they love that is easy to produce while you are also preparing the main meal. Let go of the picture of everyone enjoying the roast and potatoes together—that will have to happen another year.
Enlist help
Not every grandparent wants to single handedly orchestrate the holiday meals, and even those who do can use help. Let everyone know you’ll need volunteers, whether as a sous chef, dishwasher, or someone to cook breakfast the day after a feast. Send out a sign-up sheet a couple of weeks before you gather, and ask everyone old enough to assist to sign up for a slot or two. There are some websites like Sign up Genius designed specifically for this, but this can also be a simple Google or Excel spreadsheet. (A customizable sign-up sheet is included in A Grandparent’s Guide to Happy Holidays!)
Worried about how to ask for help? Keep it simple and straightforward: “Holiday elves needed! Can everyone volunteer to fill a slot or two to help make the season merry and bright for all?” The best part about everyone signing up to help is that everyone also has times that they can kick back and not feel guilty about not helping.
Plan menus in advance
Find out if there are any new dietary restrictions. Allergies may have been identified since their last visit, or their 10-year-old may have decided they are vegetarian. If you aren’t sure how to plan a meal around their needs, ask for advice on what to serve so everyone is happy. It doesn’t matter if you question the severity of the allergy or don’t think it’s healthy for a 10-year-old to follow a vegetarian diet. Questioning their choices just creates tension you don’t need.
Plot out exactly what you’ll serve each day. Don’t forget to include snacks—it will save on last minute trips to the store! Note that we say “serve”—this doesn’t mean you’ll have to cook each meal! Consider ordering pizza one night, or getting breakfast delivered. If you’ve had other family members sign up to provide meals, find out what they are cooking and whether you’ll need to provide any ingredients.
Cook ahead
Figure out what you can cook in advance—having at least one element of every meal already prepared can save your sanity. Create a master grocery list. We highly suggest doing this digitally, because odds are it will be similar in future years!
Check your expectations at the door
The Norman Rockwell family dinner isn’t reality for most people. The main point of holidays is spending time together, so let family harmony be your goal. How do you do that? Make sure you don’t let the little things ruin the occasion. Little things like these:
Don’t comment on your grandchild’s picky eating.
If your daughter-in-law wants to host the meal, ask how you can help and let her take charge.
Remember that your grandchild has other people that want to spend time with them, so don’t get upset if their time with you is short.
So many of our holiday memories are about the food, but it’s the people that are really important. Enjoy the time you get to spend together, and let go of the picture of what that time will look like.
To make sure your holidays are memorable for all the right reasons, get A Grandparent’s Guide to Happy Holidays!