7 Ways Grandparents Can Help Families Through a Crisis
When crisis strikes, grandparents play a vital role in helping families cope and stay connected. Discover practical ways to support your loved ones through challenging times while respecting parents' boundaries.
When a crisis strikes - whether it's an earthquake or wildfire, a serious illness, or any other emergency - families need support more than ever. The world can suddenly feel unstable and frightening, especially for children. Plans get disrupted, routines are upended, and anxiety levels rise for everyone.
Grandparents, your actions in uncertain times can make a huge difference for your loved ones.
Every family needs someone they can turn to who helps make things feel safer. Who better than a grandparent? No matter how uncertain you may feel yourself, you can be a source of strength and wisdom as your family navigates stressful times.
Here are seven ways grandparents can help in a crisis, plus a bonus way to help right now.
1: Sharing Your Wisdom and Experience
Most grandparents have lived through challenging times before. We know from experience that when someone goes through hard times, they can emerge stronger. Perhaps you've battled cancer, been deployed in a warzone, or weathered serious financial hardships. Maybe you've helped your community rebuild after tornadoes or floods.
Share these stories with your family, especially if you've never done so before. When a child or grandchild is worried, hearing how you coped during a similar time can be comforting. Stories are the foundation of strong families, and times of crisis can add strength to those foundations.
While sharing stories helps build emotional connections, there are also practical ways to support your family, even when you can't be physically present.
2: Supporting Your Family from a Distance
Sometimes circumstances prevent us from being with our grandchildren in a crisis. Whether it’s evacuation orders during wildfires, military deployments, or quarantining during illness, separation doesn’t mean you can’t be an active part of their lives.
“Even from a distance, grandparents can provide practical assistance. ”
During challenging times, parents often face additional pressures while trying to maintain normal routines. If your family has been displaced by natural disasters, offer to help research schools or activities in their temporary location. During a parent’s illness, you might be able to maintain familiar routines through video chat – reading bedtime stories or helping with homework. Ask parents what kind of support would be most helpful, and offer specific suggestions.
Even from a distance, grandparents can provide practical assistance. Send care packages with needed supplies or comfort items. If you live nearby, arrange meal delivery. If you’re farther away, consider sending gift cards for local services or having necessities delivered to temporary housing.
Beyond practical assistance, maintaining strong emotional connections becomes even more vital during challenging times.
3: Maintaining Strong Family Connections in Crisis
Connection becomes even more crucial during difficult times. Check in regularly through phone calls, texts, or video chats. Be mindful, however, of adding to their stress with frequent requests for updates. While it can be hard to sit and wonder how things are going, overwhelmed parents may not be able to keep you posted as frequently as you wish.
If circumstances make it possible, create opportunities for family togetherness, even virtually. Organize online family gatherings where separated family members can talk and play games. Start a family photo-sharing group to help everyone stay connected. Whether someone is coping with evacuation stress or missing a deployed family member, maintaining contact with loved ones helps immensely.
While regular communication is important, sometimes it’s the small, unexpected gestures that make the biggest impact.
4: Show Your Support: Simple Acts That Matter
Small gestures can make a big impact during stressful times. Let your children and grandchildren know you are thinking of them–it can mean the world when life is hard. Mail simple care packages or arrange surprise deliveries. Sending flowers isn’t cheap, but sending a bouquet by text is free. Send a link to a video you think they’ll like, or mail them a letter.
Taking a few minutes to do something unexpected will brighten the day for both of you. What’s more, these simple, thoughtful actions remind family members they’re not alone.
Beyond showing you care through thoughtful actions, one of the most powerful ways you can support your family is through your own behavior.
5: Lead by Example: Modeling Resilience
During times of crisis, your actions speak volumes. Whether following evacuation orders during wildfires or managing anxiety about loved ones in harm's way, demonstrate resilience and good judgment. Show grandchildren how to respond to difficult situations with wisdom and cooperation.
Setting a good example includes being thoughtful about the information you share during uncertain times.
6: Share Reliable Information: Stop Misinformation
In times of uncertainty, misinformation spreads quickly–about six times faster than factual information, according to researchers. Do your part to stop it.
Whether you read something on Facebook, get a warning from a friend, or hear it on a news channel, take time to search for another source to verify what you’ve heard. No matter what your preferred source of news, don’t share anything you haven’t confirmed by finding the original study, news conference, or article.
While managing current challenges, don't forget that you're also creating family history.
7: Preserve Your Family's Story: Recording Crisis Memories
Today's challenges become tomorrow's family history. Consider documenting your family's experiences during this time. Write about how your family adapted when wildfires threatened, or how you supported each other during military deployments. Jot down your observations, feelings, and the ways your family copes and cooperates. Your eye-witness account of this period in your family life will become a valuable family treasure, helping future generations understand their history and heritage.
Looking ahead, there's one more vital way you can support your family through future challenges.
8: Bonus: Create a Family Crisis Communication Plan Now
One of the most valuable gifts you can give your family is helping to establish clear communication channels before a crisis occurs. Rather than waiting for an emergency to figure out how to stay in touch, take a proactive approach that respects parents' leadership while offering your support.
You might open the conversation naturally by saying something like: "I've been thinking about how quickly we needed to communicate when Jeff had his accident. Would it be helpful if we put together a simple plan for staying in touch during future emergencies?"
or
"After seeing families struggling to connect during the recent wildfires, I realized we should probably have a plan in place. Could we talk about what would work best for our family?"
Work with your adult children to develop a simple family communication plan that everyone feels comfortable using. Here are some key elements to any crisis plan:
Choose a primary communication method everyone agrees to use, whether it's a group text, specific messaging app, or social media platform.
Identify a backup communication method in case primary systems are down.
Create a shared digital document with essential contact information, meeting points, and emergency procedures. Download our free Family Crisis Communication Plan for an easy way to get started.
Designate an out-of-area contact who can relay messages if local communications are affected.
Practice using your chosen communication methods during calm times - perhaps through a weekly family check-in.
Remember to respect parents' wishes about how and when information should be shared, especially regarding their children. Your role is to support the plan they're comfortable with, not to take charge of communications. You might say: "What would you like me to do first when there's an emergency? Should I wait to hear from you, or would you prefer I check in?"
Keep your copy of the plan somewhere easily accessible, whether it's saved on your phone or posted near your computer. Update contact information regularly, and gently remind family members to do the same during natural conversation points, like when someone mentions a new phone number.
Prepare Now: Your Family Needs Your Leadership
No one wants to face a crisis, but the reality is that most families will at some point. The leadership a grandparent provides in an emergency can make the experience less stressful for everyone. By preparing now and staying ready to support your family, you'll be their anchor in uncertain times.
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