What Grandparents Need to Know about Food Neutrality
Were you a member of the Clean Plate Club? Did you have a rule that your kids needed to eat a certain number of bites of dinner before they could have dessert? Have you described sweets as special occasion foods? Guess what: your grandchildren’s parents may object.
According to pediatric nutritionists, the goal in feeding children should be to promote positive and sustainable eating habits. One powerful approach to achieving this is by using neutral words when talking about food. This means steering away from food labels like "clean," "healthy," "sometimes," "good," etc., which make some food choices seem better than others. By doing so, we can foster a healthier relationship with food, encourage balanced eating choices, and cultivate a positive environment for children to explore and enjoy a variety of foods.
Dichotomous labels—any labels that separate food into two groups—send the message that some foods are superior. This black-and-white thinking can contribute to disordered eating behaviors, such as restrictive eating or feelings of guilt when eating foods that aren’t in the “right” group. Besides, many foods can be hard to categorize, leading to unnecessary demonization of certain foods.
Let’s look at some of the popular labels out there. Have you used any of them when feeding your grandchildren?
“Fast energy” vs. “slow energy” foods
Take the seemingly innocent food labels of “fast energy” and “slow energy”. The idea is that we want to offer more foods that provide slow energy, and fewer that are quickly burned up. Not only do these labels create two groups which imply some foods are better for us than others, the labels don’t allow for the realities of how food works. Is a peanut-butter and oatmeal cookie fast energy because of the sugar, or slow energy because of the fat and whole grains?
“Clean” food
The clean food movement is based on the idea that eating whole foods and avoiding convenience foods or certain ingredients is a healthier way to eat. The implication that processed foods are “dirty” can create a sense of guilt or shame around food choices. In fact, all foods can be part of a healthy diet, even processed ones. Focusing on offering a diverse and balanced diet that includes a mix of foods helps teach kids the importance of moderation and variety.
“Healthy” food
The term "healthy" can be subjective, and can even vary from person to person. Toddlers don’t need to know how their body processes different foods. When they are old enough, children can learn about the nutritional benefits of various foods without labeling them as "healthy" or "unhealthy." This approach fosters a positive attitude towards eating and allows for individual preferences and needs.
“Good” food
Labeling foods as "good" or "bad" can instill a sense of morality around eating choices. This can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food and may contribute to disordered eating patterns. Foods are not inherently "good" or "bad"—after all, even a diet of cheese puffs and soda will keep us alive. It’s all about how we balance our overall diet. Avoiding labels helps kids learn that all foods can be enjoyed as part of a healthy diet.
“Sometimes” foods
The term "sometimes" foods can inadvertently suggest that these foods are special and normally off-limits. We can guide our grandchildren to understand that some foods may be enjoyed occasionally without using labels. Focusing on overall eating patterns rather than individual food choices will create a healthier relationship with food.
How do dichotomous food labels lead to disordered eating?
The term “disordered eating” refers to food- and diet-related behaviors that have a negative effect on a person’s physical, mental, or emotional health. Disordered eating does not include eating disorders (EDs) like anorexia or bulimia, but does increase the risk for developing an ED. Examples of disordered eating include:
Frequent dieting
Guilt, anxiety or shame associated with specific foods
Skipping meals
Yo-yoing weight
Strict rituals or routines regarding food and exercise
Preoccupation with food, weight and/or body image
Compulsive eating habits
Compensating for “bad” foods with exercise or dieting
If it seems like we’ve just described every woman you know, then you will realize why many parents are determined to break the cycle. The list of health concerns to which disordered eating can contribute is wide-ranging and long: from depression to osteoporosis, from diabetes to hormonal imbalances. Today’s parents want to raise their children to have a healthy relationship with food to avoid disordered eating and its negative effects.
Avoiding the use of labels like "clean" or "healthy" is just one of the steps that helps children have a healthy relationship with food. Parents are also encouraging exploration and mindful eating practices, where children learn to savor and appreciate the tastes, textures, and colors of different foods. This makes food something to learn about and experience, rather than a moral choice.
Parents also avoid the following:
Using food as a reward
Praise for eating, such as “You’re such a good eater”
Commenting on what they are eating, like too much sugar
Labeling their child as a picky eater
So much of this approach seems foreign to grandparents who grew up in a different era, but parents are basing their strategy on current research and science. It may be hard for grandparents to remember not to promise ice cream if the grandkids eat their peas, but it’s important to keep working at it. This is just one more opportunity to learn something new to support our children as they raise our grandchildren.
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