Helping Your Grandchild with Special Needs Feel Safe, Heard, and Valued During the Holidays
Guest post by Carol Lettko, MA, CCC-SLP
The holidays are a time for family, joy, and making memories. But for grandchildren with hearing loss or special needs, the experience can be overwhelming. Discover simple strategies to create a welcoming and inclusive holiday celebration that ensures your grandchild feels safe, heard, and valued. Learn how to communicate effectively, plan appropriate activities, and make cherished memories with the whole family.
The holiday season can be a time for joy, togetherness, and making cherished memories with family. However, for children with disabilities, hearing loss, or other sensory challenges, it can be a time of feeling left out and isolated. With some simple strategies and suggestions, you can ensure that everyone has a great time and that your grandchild feels fully included in the festivities.
Communicating with family members about your grandchild’s unique needs
Communicating with family members in advance can be really beneficial. Find out what specific needs and preferences your grandchild may have when it comes to communication. Learn about your grandchild's amplification devices they may wear, such as hearing aids, cochlear implant devices, or perhaps a BAHA.
If your grandchild uses sign language, learn some functional signs in advance. You can even Facetime or Zoom with relatives or family friends to teach them some signs ahead of time, helping your grandchild feel more comfortable.
Supporting your grandchild's unique communication needs
If your grandchild uses an AAC (augmentative, alternative communication) device to communicate, ask the child's parents how best to interact with them so they can make their wants and needs known (food preferences, toy choices, feelings, etc.) using their device.
This is also an opportunity to educate other relatives or friends about your grandchild's unique needs. Let them know how important it is to get down on the child's level, make eye contact, and face the child when speaking. Demonstrate how to sign some basic words or phrases so that relatives can feel more confident.
Remember, even though your grandchild may have an amplification device, extraneous noise can interfere with their ability to hear clearly. Turn down the holiday music or turn off the television so that your grandchild has good access to sound and the conversations going on around them.
Creating a welcoming holiday environment for your grandchild
Encourage your family members to use visual cues, gestures, signs, facial expressions, and body language to enhance their message. Try to position your grandchild at the table so they can see everyone and not miss out on what is being said.
If your grandchild uses pictures to communicate, have some images of food items that will be served so they can make choices. Ask the child's parents ahead of time which food items the child prefers, so you already have favorite foods on hand. Prepare to have their favorite toys, snacks, and drinks accessible to help them feel comfortable.
Helping your grandchild with special needs prepare for holiday gatherings
Have the child's parents prepare your grandchild for their visit by showing them pictures of who will be at the holiday gathering. Help out by sending some photos ahead of time, especially if there will be unfamiliar people attending. For children who are learning how to read, consider having name tags!
Holiday activities for a grandchild with a communication delay
When planning a group activity, think of ways to include your grandchild, and choose games that do not rely heavily on spoken language, so that everyone can participate. Take a walk to the park, go on a scavenger hunt, or make a craft or bake something together. Try to include your grandchild as much as possible and let them know what is going on and what will happen next.
Supporting your grandchild's sensory challenges during the holidays
Offer a quiet space or silent room for naps. Things can get overwhelming and loud at family gatherings, so it's important to have a designated quiet space for your grandchildren. If they use a sound machine, consider picking one up to help make their bedtime routine seem more familiar, as unfamiliar places can be challenging for little ones. Of course, ask the parents ahead of time, as they know their child's routine best.
Communicating effectively with a grandchild with a hearing loss or communication delay
For children with communication delays or hearing loss, it is important to slow the pace and allow the child time to process what is being said or signed.
If your grandchild looks away without responding, try asking the same question again, as they may not have understood you. Instead of saying "Do you hear me?" try "Would you like me to ask you again?" Refrain from saying "never mind," and instead clarify what was said.
Decreasing the physical distance by sitting closer to your grandchild will help them hear you better. Distance can also be overcome with a remote microphone that streams directly to your child's hearing devices if they happen to wear them.
Final thoughts on creating a welcoming holiday for all grandchildren
Some final thoughts that can help the holidays go more smoothly:
Follow the parents' lead and wishes, and don't insist that the grandchildren reciprocate in displays of physical affection or allow themselves to be touched.
Be mindful of not placing demands on the child to "say" or "sign" things.
Be aware of the child's autonomy, giving them choices and making space for their input and opinions.
Don't force kids to "like" presents that they're given.
Empower parents to hold boundaries around consent for their children and the kinds of gifts they prefer their children to have. Ask parents ahead of time about the types of gifts they prefer for their child.
We hope you find these suggestions and tips useful as you navigate the holidays with family and friends who may not be familiar to your grandchild. Remember to express gratitude to your relatives for their efforts in making your grandchild feel included, safe, and valued.
We wish you the warmest of holiday wishes and hope that everyone is encouraged to celebrate the unique qualities and strengths your grandchild brings to the family!
For more helpful advice on creating a joyful and welcoming holiday season for your entire family, be sure to get A Grandparent's Guide to Happy Holidays. This comprehensive guide will help you plan for all the things that need to be considered when there's a new generation at your holiday celebrations.
Carol Lettko, MA, CCC-SLP, has 40-plus years of experience as a speech-language pathologist. She has worked in a variety of settings, including hospitals, clinics, preschools, students' homes, and private practice. Carol is on the expert relations team for the international Lovevery toy company and is currently working on her first children’s book series.
Visit Carollettko.com for information on ways she can support you and your family.
