You’re probably thinking about what your role as a grandmother will be. You might be wondering how this baby will affect your relationship, especially if you aren’t close. Or you might be searching for the best gift for your pregnant daughter-in-law and son.

Whatever brought you here, I promise your daughter-in-law is glad you found this post. In fact, the best gift for an expecting daughter-in-law might be reading it.

Here’s what she would tell you if she felt she could.
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Dear Mother-in-Law,

I am so excited about giving you a grandchild! Actually, let me rephrase that: I’m not really giving you anything! What I should have said is that I’m so excited I am having a baby, and that my baby will have you as a grandmother.

I know you are excited, too, which is why I wanted to tell you a few things that will make it more rewarding for you.

I know you successfully raised (insert number) children, and I really want to thank you for bringing up my (husband/wife/partner). We’ve been reading up on how to be good parents in the digital age, and so much has changed in the last 20 years! We’ll probably do some things a lot differently than you did, and I hope you realize that’s not a reflection of your parenting. I’m happy to share some of the research we’ve done with you—just ask!

Grandparents are so important in a child’s life! Did you know that children who have a close relationship with a grandparent have better mental health throughout their lives? We want our child to have a loving relationship with the entire family, especially you. I’ve seen a lot online about grandparents who don’t respect parents’ boundaries. It’s sad, because a lot of the time it ends up with a situation where the parents get fed up and just limit contact with the grandparents.

We promise to make our boundaries clear so you don’t have to guess about them. We are happy to share them in writing if that will make it easier to remember them.

We’d love to start with a conversation about how you see your role as a grandmother. That way we can figure out together if we can make that happen. Just like any relationship, we may have different expectations, and it’s best if we can talk to each other before we run into any issues.

Like the birth itself! Let’s talk in advance about what the plan will be, so you know when you are welcome. Friends have told me delivery room horror stories and that seems like a bad way to start off our new venture! I’m going to be pretty busy when the time comes, so settling it in advance seems smart!

There are some other things we should talk about before the baby’s born, too. Like who gets to be the first to announce the baby’s arrival. How and when we are comfortable with sharing photos on social media. When we want visitors.

Actually, I’m going to send you a cool guide for new grandparents that I bought online. It’s going to help us cover all the things we should discuss and help you get ready for being a grandma to this baby!

We’ve got a lot of years of loving the same little person ahead of us. I really want to make sure we are all on the same team!

Love,
Your daughter-in-law
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So, future grandmother, what do you think? Are you ready to be the supportive grandparent who follows parents’ lead? You can get a jump on it by buying New Grandparent Essentials for yourself!