What’s one of the most common responses to the question “What’s the first thing you did when you found out you were going to be a grandparent?” According to our new grandparent quiz, “Started shopping” is the top answer.

That’s no surprise. It’s so much fun to get to indulge in all those adorable outfits and cool new gadgets. You know parents are going to need so many things—surely the more you buy the better!

Maybe—but maybe not. Before you start your shopping, there are some things to keep in mind. If new parents have set up a baby registry, that’s a good place to start.

Baby registry do’s and don’ts for grandparents

Do stick to the registry.

It's likely that parents put a lot of time and effort into choosing the things they've listed on their registry. Don't assume that the car seat on sale at is just as good as the one parensts have listed. There are a number of factors that go into deciding which car seat is the best for their vehicle and needs, so get the model they've chosen, or get something else off the registry. The same goes for other baby equipment like cribs, high chairs, and strollers. 

Another reason to stick to the registry: If you see an adorable diaper bag, but there's no bag on the registry, it's probably for a good reason. Maybe they've been given one by a friend; maybe they plan to use a backpack they already have. When there are so many things that parents do need, getting things they have no use for is frustrating.

Don’t buy it all.

Don’t get carried away and buy everything on the registry. Remember, this baby is likely to have many other people who want to celebrate their birth. Other people will want to buy gifts as well, especially if there is a baby shower planned. Leave things for the rest of the family and friends.

Do consider waiting to see what’s needed after a baby shower.

If there is a baby shower planned, consider waiting until after it happens to buy your gift for parents. This is a thoughtful way to show that you are really trying to support parents. It also ensures that they get what they need! If there is no shower planned, check with parents to see what they would most like you to buy. Make sure you share your budget with them so you don’t end up spending more than you can afford.

Don’t go beyond your budget.

Take stock of what parents are requesting and see what you can afford to buy. Don’t feel pressured by what the other grandparents are doing—this isn’t a competition. On the flip side, if you are able to spend more than most people, be discreet about it. If you want to buy the most expensive thing on the registry, don’t present it at the shower.

What should grandparents buy for their house?

Many grandparents also buy things to keep at their house for the baby. This can make sense if the baby will be regularly spending time with you. It can help parents if they don’t have to lug everything they need every time they visit. We’ve got suggestions for some useful basics here. However, setting up an entire nursery is usually unnecessary, and can definitely send the wrong message to parents.

Do make sure parents have everything first.

Don’t buy yourself things until you are sure parents have everything they need. The main focus should always be on making sure parents are equipped for this phase of life. Only after they have all the necessities should you start buying baby things to keep at home.

Don’t ask for gifts for yourself.

Don’t set up your own registry or throw yourself a shower. Baby showers are for new parents and you are not one. A Grandma Shower can be a nice gesture from friends if it is done tastefully—see our blog post with tips on that.

Don’t assume you need a lot.

Do consider how much time the baby will be spending at your house. It’s important to talk to parents about this. You may envision regular overnights so parents can rest, but they may not have any desire for the baby to stay elsewhere. More than one new mom has expressed how uncomfortable it feels to have grandparents prepare for a baby as if it is their own.

Do be careful when buying used items.

Make sure to check for recalls and carefully inspect any used baby equipment including toys. Read more about what to look out for here.

A final caution: Don’t fall prey to retailers

It is so, so easy to be lured into buying darling outfits and stuffed animals when they are charmingly displayed. But when there are so many practical things new parents need, you can do a lot more good by buying the necessities. Diapers, a good stroller, a bottle drying rack: These are the things that parents will be grateful for every day. If you need suggestions for what new parents really want, check out our Amazon shop, where we’ve listed the items parents tell us have been the most useful.

There's a lot of joy to be had in making life easier for new parents, and giving them things they need will do just that.